Oh what a day. I seriously don’t even know where to start.
First thing this morning I put Princess Newbie down in the office to play while I checked my email. I had not even glanced in the mirror or brushed my teeth yet. I got up from the desk and walked to the hall for one second to tell the older princesses something. When I came back I noticed a huge brown spot on the floor. It took me a minute but I quickly realized that Princess Newbie’s diaper had exploded. Good thing that I keep carpet cleaner close by at all times. I cleaned up the spot and went to the bathroom to wash my hands. It was then that I first glanced in the mirror for the day and realized that sometime during the night Princess Newbie had thrown her dinner up all over my shirt and it was now a nice dry brown noodlish patch all over my shirt. Oh joy. I hadn’t even had my coffee yet.
As I was in the bathroom, washing my hands and every other part that had touched the dried brown stuff, one of the older princesses started rattling the wooden baby gate that we have at the top of our stairs. She had gone downstairs and gotten stuck there when I closed the gate so Princess Newbie wouldn’t fall down the stairs. She never told me she needed up, she was just rattling it back and forth. I told her to wait a minute and I would be right there. Apparently she was experiencing a bathroom emergency and had less than that minute because I quickly got to use that carpet cleaner on the top stair of the house. really? yes, really and it wasn’t pretty.
I figure that this day is a wash so far so I better get dressed and get going so that it can come to an end faster than it had begun. So I slip on clothes and run downstairs to round everyone up so we can go to the store. That’s when I found the fountain of anti youth. Also known as my older dog had peed a puddle the size of Lake Travis on the kitchen floor. This time I had to get out the hardwood cleaner. At this point I am seconds away from needing a straight jacket and figure the faster I can get out and the door and get to the starbucks drive thru, the happier we would all be. Or so I thought, if only I hadn’t had to leave the house via the front door and find the pile of cat poop on the front porch from my neighbors cat. At least I didn’t step in it.
At this point I just sit and ponder if the world is trying to send me a message such as, “You are crap…” or maybe just a little “crap of the mornin’ to ya”. I have no idea but I decide to be positive and be thankful that the only body fluid I have not cleaned up is blood since that is usually a worse situation than the other body fluids.
I finally did reach starbucks but my drink was too hot to drink so I only took one sip and then decided to let it sit in the van while I was in the store and I would drink it when I came out. But Princess Girly Girl noticed too quickly that the store we were going to was actually the toy store and in her excitement she knocked over my coffee and never noticed that it was spilling all over my car’s console. I could not even make this stuff up. In my last ditch attempt to get some form of caffeine, of which I am slightly addicted, I ran thru the taco place on the way home to snag myself a little caffeine inhanced pick me up. It wasn’t until I got almost all the way home and realized that I had gotten the Princess’ caffeine free drinks but they had forgotten to give me mine. Still not joking.
The day did improve greatly. I was able to finish sewing a dress for Princess Goofy that I started two months ago before my sewing machine broke and the girls were absolute angels today. It turned out to be a pretty good day after all.
But His Royal Highness did say that my day should be turned into a made for TV movie. I agree but only in Julia Roberts could play me. I look like her right? right? hello?