Damion and I are both believers of Christ. That was one thread that always held us together and knitted our friendship together.
However, when we broke up and I knew that he was the guy that I wanted to marry, but not yet ready to marry, I questioned God. Things didn’t go so well for me following the break up. I turned from God and ran for quite a long time. On the surface, many people never knew but there were a few who knew the truth to this and Damion was one of those people. We really did stay best friends through this time.
Several of those months were the darkest of my entire life. It wasn’t just the breakup that did this to me, it was dealing with a ton of things in my past that were finally able to surface because God was working in me. It’s hard to understand that if you’re not a believer but God will lead you to the hight mountain tops but first you have to go through some valleys and dark places to change and be able to make that climb. Friends are what pulled me through that time although I occasionally thought I wouldn’t make it.
Damion knows every secret about that time and I was always honest with him about my struggles. He stayed true to our friendship and occasionally sent me care packages, incuding one with a stuffed animal named “friend”.
It took me about a year to overcome all that I was going through. It was long and he never left my side. After that year, I had started dating again a pretty nice guy but I still had feelings for Damion. The other guy didn’t make me laugh the same and the connection just wasn’t there. In fact, I had secretly invited Damion to go to my brother’s upcoming wedding with me and didn’t tell the other guy about it at all.
Two weeks before the wedding, I went on a retreat with my best friend Jana and our church singles group. During that retreat, I let go all the hope of ever getting back with Damion. I told God that I would be happy if I was single for the rest of my life and I meant it. I had finally came to a peace in my life that was undescribable and amazing. I knew that I wasn’t meant to be dating that other guy and that I could be happy without a guy. At 23, I finally knew who I was and was ready to start living it.