I’ve never claimed to be smooth. In fact, I’m quite the opposite.
Take yesterday, when this wagon was parked behind me.
I finally got my car out of the space but it only took a 121 point turn to do it. Why is this bad you ask? Have you ever seen a cowboy or good ol’ country boy drive? They can get a diesel truck into a space the size of a quarter with their drink in one hand all while turning their stereo to their favorite, “my dog died, my beer’s hot, and my money went to my honey” station. Then they could get it out of that spot in the blink of an eye. 121 point turns is nothing but fiction in their lives. Well, until yesterday when I had to do one in front of about 100 of them. To make matters worse. I was so nervous that several times I pushed the gas too hard, making my transmission kinda jump and the whole van shook. Smooth.
Then there’s today…
We were having our extremely large tree out front trimmed. This picture was taken from our second story.. that’s how high this guy was. The bad thing was I didn’t know yet that he was up there already working and I went out to move our cars. I saw another worker standing across the street with his mouth hanging open.. wide open… as I casually walked among some fallen branches wondering why there were branches on the ground. Good thing the guy saw me walking totally unaware of his presence with the chainsaw right above me or I would have been turkey meat. I went back into my house through the back door and noticed through the window that they had stationed a guy by our front door to keep us from walking out again. Smoother than smooth.
So the lesson we can all learn from this is that when you’re in the face of professionals… don’t act like me. In fact, just stay away from professionals unless you truly are a smooth operator.