In the past two days of being 32 I have come to a conclusion that will surprise my husband, that I want to proclaim my real age. That’s right! I’m admitting my real age which is slightly easier since I went about 3 months of last year thinking I was already 32. However in the past if you would of asked me how old I was, I would have replied with 25 going on 25 but that just won’t work for me anymore.
Yes I look good enough to pass for 25 (That’s a total lie) but after a very romantic kid free birthday weekend planned by my amazing husband I realized that I do not want to be 25 again. Ever!
Why is that you ask? Because today I realized that 25 was one of the worst years of my adult life and yet for the past few years I have insisted that I am still that age.
Let me tell you about 25. I was a not so new newlywed living in the huge strange city of Houston, which I hated. I worked at a church that’s goal was to become a Mega Church, which I hated. We were assigned to attend a small group at the church that spent their weekly meetings watching Gray’s Anatomy, which I really hated.
If that’s not enough lets get to the meat of the problem. Mr. Byrd and I are always very open that our marriage was bad in the beginning. We both had huge issues to overcome and lessons that we needed to learn to have the marriage that we have now, but we hadn’t learned them yet. (Lesson for the young people, marriage is not what you see on TV. Don’t give up because it’s ugly at first.) We were miserable in our marriage but working and fighting to fix it. On top of that we had a one year old and a newborn with colic and stomach issues where she couldn’t keep down food.
At one point during that year I was so extremely tired from our two babies being up at night, one with a very bad case of roto virus during the hardest colic time for the other that I was trying to find the courage to ask Mr. Byrd to check me into the hospital for exhaustion.
My 25th year of life was nothing but an attempt at survival.
Don’t get me wrong, I love my family with every single thread of my being and now I know for a fact that God picked out my husband for me and I for him. He is my best friend as he has been for the past 13 years, even though there were times that we didn’t like each other. I don’t remember a lot of Princess Goofy’s baby milestones or Princess Girly Girls first adventures in toddlerhood but I love them fiercely regardless of it.
Yet today I realized that I’ve been claiming that bad year over my life when since then I’ve had truly magical years. This week our oldest turns 8! I’m so proud of her and her toothless grin. Our middle child blows us away with her compassion towards others and the littlest has been a gift in the fact that we got to see those milestones with her that we were just too tired to truly enjoy with the oldest two.
We finally got to take our family on a vacation, and to Disney World of all places, this year. Last year we bought a gorgeous house that I still can’t believe we own (in part with the bank). I have a husband that gets me and loves me for the weirdness. He even sang “Deep in the Heart of Texas” with me at the Alamo this weekend but only if I agreed to do the clapping part too.
Life’s not perfect as anyone with bills and a feisty 3 year old can tell you. But life at 32 is beautiful. I’m seeing the circle of life that starts at my grandparents who are still going strong at 64 years of marriage and ends goes down to my kids and our goal to raise them in away to affect change and love for their kids.
I’m finding my path in life to help other women see their creativity and to encourage other bloggers to learn and educate themselves.
Seriously guys, 25 isn’t worth revisiting even if it had been an amazing year. 32 is just the beginning of another building block that God started in my life after accepting the firm foundation at 17.
So look forward to growing old. There’s wisdom and green jello, who wouldn’t want that?