A Letter To Miley Cyrus
Dear Miley,
I get it. I do. I had my wild 20’s too.
I understand that there’s something within you once you get to that age, the age of ultimate freedom that just wants to see how far you can push your limits. You want to see what you can do and you have the need to prove that you are simply awesome. I was there and without a doubt looking back now it was the most shameful period of my life. I would do anything to take it back, to erase time, to keep my kids from one day asking questions about that time period that I might have to truthfully answer. Then I thought I was unbreakable. Now I realize that I was actually crushed and in a land of dispair.
But the truth is that I sowed my wild oats in a time before the internet chronicled my life and I wasn’t a child star with millions of other kids looking up to me. The saddest thing is that you’re aware of the amount of young adults and children that idolize you and yet you choose to act in ways that promote nothing but vulgarity and being a thug.
You have the voice to tell young women to love their body for who they are instead of wearing nothing but plastic underwear on stage while grabbing your crotch.
You have the voice to tell young men to respect women for what they represent instead of waving your bottom in such a way that tells a man that this is what they should expect from a woman.
You have the voice to change your generation towards respecting relationships and yet you spend your time grinding your crotch on a married man’s crotch on stage while his wife watches (probably in horror) from below.
You have the voice and chance to speak louder than any of us ever will be able to speak. Yet you throw it out the window time after time without a thought of who you’re impacting negatively with only the thought of what great things you are doing in your own mind. You are no longer someone worthy of being looked up to and admired. You are trying so hard to fit in but for what? and with whom? What will all this gross sexuality and general disrespect for others bodies as well as your own achieve for you in the long run?
I really hope that you open your eyes and look around. Somewhere there’s a little girl that’s acting like you right now with perverted eyes watching them in joy and thinking lewd thoughts. Stop and think. Just stop and think.
My greatest hope for you is that you take time to look at what happens when sexuality goes wrong or is abused. I’m not asking you to be a nun or even be an angel on stage. But take the time to look into who is following you and what effect it’s having on them. Look into the eyes of a woman who was sexually abused because her attacker said she was acting too sexy and was just asking for it.
You are a walking billboard for a generation. Is this what you really want to look back in 20 years? Will you be proud to show these videos to your kids or grandkids one day? Being an artist is great but being someone that stands up for the youths of this country is even better.
You have a voice in more ways than one. Please use it wisely.
From,
A mom who is heartbroken for you.
Annette H says
From mommies everywhere, I thank you for your words. I only hope that Ms. Cyrus receives this message loud and clear from the public. For this reason alone, I do not watch these shows nor will I allow my daughter to do so.
Carolyn Hokkanen-Hawkins says
Thank you for what you wrote, your words were perfectly said. It is sad to see this happen, like it is some desperate attempt to be popular with the crowd.
Always look forward to what you write, love your blog!
Lisa says
Here here!! And I thought I had regrets from my 20s…
Taylor Brione says
This is great! I feel like we should tweet this to her…but her PR people probably have Google Alerts and will see it. Actually…with that performance…I’m not sure if she has PR people. Anyway, this was a great personal letter to her and hopefully she can take heed. I’m working on a post about this too…but from a different standpoint. Thanks for sharing Bobbie!
@PamelaMKramer - A Renaissance Woman says
Great post Bobbie! I had to write about it too. I get the wild 20 year old thing too and frankly it’s still young and immature. What a double standard it is that people aren’t going nuts about Robin Thicke as well. Why doesn’t he get to share in a bit of the shame. I mean come on!
Bobbie says
I agree. He could have spoke volumes just by simply moving away from her and respecting his wife.
Margie says
He could have said “no” to the whole “dance” routine. Obviously this was well planned and rehearsed. He is juts as culpable as she, and I have no respect for either of them.
Walt Mateja says
I appreciate artistic endeavors and license. However if this performance at the VMA was an attempt to transcend from “Hannah Montana” into a sexy or seductive woman, it was in y opinion a total failure. Instead it was unfortunately “CRUDE” and “AWKWARD”.
If it was professionally choreographed then that person should never work again.
I just don’t get the connection of the lyrics the costuming or Miley’s tongue.
Frankly, the whole routine reminded me of a child on the dance floor, bouncing to the rhythm with no understanding of flow or structure.
I won’t even get into the part with singer Thicke because that was an obvious attempt at shock value, and was just plain vulgar with nothing sexy about it at all.
Miley needs desperately needs some guidance from a woman.
Bobbie says
I agree. And what is happening with her tongue?
Catherine Claywell says
I agree she needs to keep it in her mouth-it is not attractive at all and I think she needs to see a Dr. That tongue looks sick to me!!!!
Lisa H says
Sad, sadder, saddest…..
Sad-she has every opportunity to write her own legacy. Anything. And this is what she is choosing to write.
Sadder- That performance will never go away. Her great granddaughters will live with it.
Saddest- She has all the power, money and resource to make the world, the music business, womanhood…..all of these a better place.
An extra saddest, as awesome as her body is, her cheeks were sagging right out of those drawers.
Ann Awny says
I have the VMAs on my DVR and I was planning on watching tonight. I have seen the screen shots via Facebook. I will first say, I thought her cutting her hair was a bold move. I loved the first cut, then hours later, she posted another photo of it chopped off even more and I shook my head. I understand wanting to shed the “disney” young girl image that made her famous. I understand that Disney tends to restrict their employees quite a bit. But from the screen shots – I’m just saddened. She’s not bold, she’s not an artist, she’s not some crazy Lady Gaga spin off… she’s just a sad, lost little girl who hasn’t matured yet. I pray that my son never brings home a girl like that.
Susana says
Well said, eloquently written…
Bobbie says
Thank you!
sumati says
Well said, but I was really shocked to hear her mother , when asked what she thought of her daughter’s performance, say, “I couln’t be prouder of her”. And I recall some time ago she did a sexy photoshoot, her father was so proud of her, too–he was even in the shot, if I remember correctly. Now that is some kind of parenting….So how can we be surprised, when the guidance she receives is “anything goes”?
Laura says
I agree completely. My girls and I watched her throughout the Hannah Montana years and were always impressed with her talent and how grounded she was. This seems like a child acting out to get attention. It’s so sad to me that no one cares enough about her to save her from this behavior.
Sheila Miller says
Nothing could have prepared anyone for this shock. It was written on the faces of the younger members of the audience, like Jaden Smtih, to those of us older, more aged viewers watching from our homes and computers. Miley has now put herself into a category of high risk – personally, professionally and morally. For whatever reason, she made a bad decision. IF she would own up to it and make a statement and then show her future performances, etc. to prove that, she would serve herself well. As you sad, I too, am sad for her. Your article was wonderfully written.
Bobbie says
thank you.
Kristen says
If you don’t like the message she is sending, maybe you should pay closer attention to what your kids are watching and their morals. You can’t possibly expect her to change who she is because you don’t feel like parenting and having these conversations with your kids. Because guess what? The real world isn’t a pretty place, and Miley is really the least of your worries. She did that performance to have everyone talking, and you all are just feeding right into it? You really want to prove a point? Stop writing stupid meaningless letters that only show how lazy of a parent you are, and just shut up about it. She’ll go away eventually, but then you might have to worry about actually doing your job as a mother. So that could be a bummer. Either way, blaming someone else for your shortcomings as a parent isn’t going to solve the problem.
Bobbie says
Sorry I’m not a lazy mother because I am going to stand up against things such as this. If you disagree that’s fine just please show respect on this blog.
Robyn says
When my son gets older (he’s 2 now) he will be taught that women are to not be seen like how Miley was at the VMAs. I can’t believe her parents let her do something like that.
Bobbie says
I’m glad you’re going to be teaching him that and I’m thankful that my husband’s mom taught him that.
ImAMomNow says
In total agreement with all of you ladies. Also being one who wants to erase a good portion of my twenties for fear of my children findoing out about it, I remembered one thing. As I pursued my freedom, I didn’t have anyone telling me NOT to do what I was doing. I didn’t have a voice of reason saying “respect yourself. make others respect you. have class.” When I finally did encounter a person in my life that told me these things, a person that mattered to me, it made all the difference in the world. So where is Miley’s voice of reason? Mom, are you there? Dad? Trish and Billy Ray, please step it up for your daughter! Teach her how to have class. For her career, it will have a lot more staying power than shock value.
Bobbie says
Yes. 🙂
Sheila says
Perfectly written! I sure hope Miley sees it. She is (was) a beautiful girl with a beautiful voice and it breaks my heart also to see what she has become. 🙁
Maureen says
Well said. And thank you for saying it.
Bobbie says
thank you.
Megan Silianoff (@GreetingsfromTX) says
I can’t stop wondering what Miley is thinking now. If she stands by the performance or if she’s embarrassed with all the backlash?
Bobbie says
Great question. I’m going to be interested to see her thoughts on it in 10 or 20 years when she’s a little more mature.
Duke says
I don’t understand most of you people and where america is going with all the pissing about what someone else is doing or wearing. The VMA is not a childs TV show people!!!! There not showing Hanna Montana videos on there. Madonna has been doing it for 30 dam years even Cher got on the half naked side of life in a video. I could name many more. You can have your children watch old movies of Hanna for life but that isnt changing who she is or will become. I pretty sure that wasn’t just hey go out there and dance and put whatever clothes on you want ect.. Sure they went through many different out fits and many different stage dances and so on. Your little babies wont be babies forever!! Find them a new child star and leave the one that isnt alone! LOL wow I cant say it was a super act but you know what it wasnt me up there or my child but if my daughter made what she makes she could dance on the moon but ass naked if she wanted to. Its her life shes a big girl now so let her be a big girl!
Bobbie says
And part of living in America is getting to politely disagree.
Mr. Wonderful says
Bobbie:
Great article….I wonder what her dad thinks of her..?
Bobbie says
Her dad replied that he’s proud of her and loves her and that the entertainment industry is just a circus and they are performers. Her mom gave her a standing ovation. I know I’m lucky to have a dad that would have told me like it is and shown true love in that way. Love you dad.