Comedy of Errors

A Comedy of Errors

Part 1 – Aide to the First

The scene opens on a mall. One frazzled mom is shopping and trying to keep three little girls from playing inside the clothing racks. Then it happens. 

One little girl crawling out from the clothes racks trips and falls flat on top of the littler sister. 

There is wailing heard round the store from the littlest sister while the oldest sister says in her booming voice, “I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to fall on you!” on a pattern only matched by record players. 

Finally the littlest one is quieted with a promised trip down her favorite thing in the entire mall, the escalator.  Which is where the mom and girls are at when the older one notices that there is blood pouring down the top of her foot and into her shoe from tripping over the clothes rack. 

The mother experiences a minor panic attack while trying to figure out how to handle this. Should she alert the mall police? Do they have a first aid station? When on cue the girl pulls a first aid kit out of the stained and scruffed up purse she has been carrying on her shoulder the entire day. 

A real first aide kit which the mom recognizes as the one that went missing from her van’s glove compartment some time ago but there’s no time to gripe or complain about the sticky fingered children. 

The family finds a quiet corner to doctor the foot, the bulky first aide kit is returned to the old purse and the day continues. 

End scene – 

Part 2 – The Cookie Monster

The youngest daughter can be found being dragged by the hand from one store to the other obviously starting to get whiney and in need of food. The littlest one is on a growth spurt and has been reliving the role of a hobbit. Food is needed and soon so of course the mom promises a cookie if they can just get through one last store. 

The food court is bustling and full of people when the family arrives to buy the promised cookie. There’s a mix up at the Cookie Counter and another child’s cookie is put in with the family’s cookies which the littlest sister then claims. But alas, it’s not her cookie so it is returned to the owner and the littlest girl falls to pieces. 

The pieces become monsters of the crying screaming variety in the packed mall food court. Dirty looks from other parents ensue but the mom knows that the littlest one just needs to eat something, anything would help to save the family from this screaming monster. 

After 5 minutes of screaming all hope is lost and the family packs it up to start the trek back to the car with the screaming child in tow.  Finally somewhere between Macy’s and Dillard the hungry hungry monster agrees to take a bite of a left over cookie. Then another and another and finally when there’s another sugar in her body to maintain her growing status, she becomes the long haired angel with bangs covering her eyes once again.  The mother resolves to buy wine. 

(The internal war that cannot be seen by the eye is one within the mom, hopefully played by Sofia Verga or the likes, on whether she should still give the child any cookie at all because of the behavior or just go with her gut which tells her from past experience as this childs mother that the child is experiencing a low blood sugar and she needs food to snap out of the funk. Therefore any comments put at bottom of this blog play about said behavior will be deleted.)

End scene. 

Part 3- The kick off

Finally in the ending scene the family is found to be loaded into the van and getting ready to head home when the oldest sister gets out of her seat to grab a toy from the floor for the 5pt harnessed little sister.  Cue a kick to the throat for the oldest sister from the littlest sister on accident and more screaming ensues.  Screaming and wailing. Wailing and screaming. It’s all the same at this point.  The mother is seen contemplating one bottle of wine or two three. 

Finally they arrive home to find a dad who laughs when hearing stories of the day but then takes the 4 year old to the side and reads and plays with her so that mom can just have a quiet moment.  Mom falls deeper in love with the handsome hunk of a man giving her a break and being corrected by said 4 year old on how to properly make the animal noises from the book they’re reading. 

The mom opens a bottle of wine. The kids go to bed. 

Scene ends with mom plunked on the couch leaning slightly to the right from pure exhaustion while she types a crazy blog post that is slightly unbelievable but all true. 

End scene. 



Bobbie is a homeschooling mom of three girls in the Houston area. Although most of her days are spent scrubbing up paint or ungluing her fingers, occasionally she also takes the time to burn dinner.

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