Just a little advice…

Because I’m so fancy and stuff I thought that tonight I would impart to you a little wisdom I learned today. 1. Don’t make your own beauty products. I know you might see everyone on all these other blogs doing it but do you see the final outcome? no. If you do make your own just know that your husband will stare at your face funny for about 5 minutes before he finally gets up the courage to say, “what happened there?”.  When you don’t answer him, he’ll look closer at the funny red rash and then even closer while saying, “come on, you can tell me.” I’m sure that tomorrow whoever might have tried to make their own beauty products that gave them the crazy rash will get a few text messages from his coworkers to either let me know he’s sharing the story or just to laugh (if that was me that did it but we all know I would never be so frugal to make my own beauty products). 2. Plans fall through. Especially when you’re convinced in your head that it’s Monday when it’s really Tuesday and you tell yourself that you can’t go to the library on Monday because it’s not open so you’ll go tomorrow, on Tuesday. Then when it’s really too late you realize that it’s actually Tuesday but you can’t go tomorrow because then it’s really Wednesday and it’s also closed on Wednesday. Calendars, they come in handy sometimes. 3. There is no such thing as the terrible two’s. I would pay an arm and a leg to go back to two. But right now I have a temper tantrum throwing, arms crossing, feet stomping three year old that sees herself as always right and always deserving. If you still believe in the terrible two’s, just come talk to the three year old that was laying in some strangers yard yelling at the top of her lungs while we were on our family walk tonight. Be warned, the answer you will get will probably be, “No, I don’t want to!”. 4. If a three year old comes to visit you while you’re in the bathroom and wants to hold the roll of toilet paper, don’t let her. The only thing you will see is her running out of the room laughing while still holding the toilet paper. You might just need that. 5. Dogs with gas are the enemy. You’re welcome.