A few weeks ago I wrote a blog post titled, When the Glitter Doesn’t Shine. That was a hard post and it had a lot of not-so happy-stuff inside. I could apologize but it’s real life and I’m not going to be one of the bloggers that contribute to the problem of always portraying their lives as rainbows and sunshine. Life is hard. You know what makes life easier? When someone comes alongside you and says, “I get it, I’ve been there too” instead of sweeping it under the rug and plastering a smile on their face.
This Thursday is World Mental Health day. It’s a day to bring awareness to mental health and the stigmatisms that surround it. Honestly, can I tell you that I never thought I would be here. I never thought that I would deal with depression so severe that I would walk away from this blog and life in general for weeks. Never in my wildest dreams did I think that I would deal with anxiety that made it hard to breathe and my heart race. I used to think that PTSD was just a diagnosis for soldiers and rescue workers, not for a dorky craft blogger.
Yet, here I am. Here my family is too since they’re standing with me in this fight. It’s been ten months since I first asked for help.
It’s hard to be vulnerable and to tell you these things about myself. Actually, since starting therapy, I have a ton of new words to use. One of them is triggered, meaning that something I’m doing or participating in is causing me to stumble and get tripped up mentally. In the past week, I’ve been able to identify that being vulnerable is a trigger for me. Tomorrow might be a rough day for me because I wrote this post and shared it tonight. But you know what? It’s worth it. It’s worth it to stand here in front of a ton of people and share this with you because if you need help – if you are struggling, I want you to know that I am here too. You are worth it to me. You are not alone.
Ending the stigma behind mental health is now important to me because I’ve gotten the weird looks or dealt with friends that are uncomfortable by what I’m dealing with. I can handle it, I’m stronger than I realize. But the stigma needs to end because if one of my kids ever find themselves where I am now, I want them to live in a world that is full of love and support for them.
So how do we fight the stigma? We simply tell our stories. We share where we are. We have conversations.
Where am I today? I’m actually doing much better than I was when I wrote the post, When the Glitter Doesn’t Shine. I am still struggling some and I still see a therapist weekly. But, I am finding my joy again. I am back painting and creating. I am getting to a better place and now I know that even if I have another setback, I’ll ultimately keep moving forward.
This journey has been the hardest thing I’ve ever done but daily I remind myself that my story isn’t over. In fact, I have an opportunity to change my story in a way that I never thought was possible.
I am brave and strong. I am loved. I am an overcomer. But… so are you.
This week, share your story. Help end the stigma. And if you feel like you need help or you just need to talk to someone, reach out and get the help you need. I am so thankful that my husband asked me to get help because now I can change and I can also help shed light on mental health.
30 years ago, a lovely, kind lady asked me a question that led to my changed life. I always sang in the church choir, and I always cried at the old hymns and moving anthems. Fellow singers would say, “Oh, Ginny’s crying again,” with a smile. When my tears continued after church, the choir director’s wife said, “Are you sure that’s all that is making you cry?” She made me think about it, and when I stood at my sink listening to an oldies station on the radio, and just bawled, I knew she was right. My doctor referred me to a counselor, and 30 years of medication and occasional counseling have made me the happy person I want to be. I think some mental illness is hereditary. My grandfather committed suicide, some of my sisters’ kids and grandkids suffer from depression and one is autistic. One nephew is over 60, but his bipolar condition prevented him from ever working; living in a group home, he is frozen at age 16 with rock & roll one of his three subjects of conversation.. My sister, at 85, still has to worry and fight with doctors and agencies on his behalf. I’ve heard some of the presidential candidates mention mental health as an issue America needs to address, Amen to that. It’s the “final frontier” in medicine, and it’s so wrong that short-sighted people avoid or even confront those with this illness. They wouldn’t do that to a diabetic or someone with cancer. Mental hospitals are few, many are closing, and Medicaid makes treatment difficult to get. We all need to take action where we can, supporting and encouraging and politicking for change, There is hope – I’m an example of one whose treatment works, albeit my case is so minor compared to so many. New friends would never suspect that I suffer from clinical depression. May we see change in this century!
I agree that mental health needs a lot more attention. I pray we see a huge change in the coming years where it’s easy to get help and encouraged.
Thank you for sharing! I too have dealt with anxiety, and depression. It hit me as if I suddenly ran right into a 10 foot tall cement wall! I didn’t see it coming as I had never experienced these feelings before in my life. Sure I had experienced sadness, but not the black bottom less hole I felt I had fallen into! I had always been a strong Mother of three children whom I raised predominately myself. I took life as it came and dealt with any bumps in the road, head on and swiftly! Now as my children are grown adults with children of their own. I’ve had found myself having difficulty with the smallest problems. And no longer being able to be around others for fear I might say something, or do something stupid.
With my loving Husband by my side, I’ve sought counseling from mental health professionals. I’m now slowly crawling out of that black hole I found myself in!
Thank you for sharing your experiences with us! And letting others understand depression and anxiety is NOT something a person willingly signs up for! It slowly, silently sneaks up on you. And takes away your energy, concentration, joy, and hope. With help from a medical and or psychological provider, a person can begin to heal. And enjoy the gift of life we have all been given!
Debbi, I hit the wall too. It came out of nowhere it seems. Now I can tell it was sneaking up on me but it’s hard. Crawling out is hard too. I’m encouraged by your comment and I can see that you do have joy again – Thank you.
I to am suffering from major depression and contemplated taking my life in May of this past year. I am doing better but still have a way to go. You are so lucky you have your family. My husband and children have help me so much but I struggle that my sister think I just need to get over it. Your blog has helped me. Mental health can happen at any time and to anyone. Its going to be something I have too keep working on but I will not give up.
Thank you for sharing
RB
Regina, I don’t even know what to say to that amazing comment. You are so brave. You know your fight, don’t worry about people that don’t understand it. I’m with you and I love you. Keep fighting.
I have dealt with a lot of depression, and anxiety, seasonal effective disorder. I also went through two divorces and was raised with much emotional abuse while living with a mentally ill narcissistic step parent. I applaud your openness and am sorry that you are going through all of this. However whatever doesn’t break you makes you stronger. I work with many people in recovery who used due to mental illness. It’s a scary world out there and mental illness is probably at an all time high. But those of us talking about it helps to de-stigmatize it.
Thank you so much for sharing. My thoughts are with you.