Princess Newbie was sick this weekend, really sick.
Friday I took her to the doctor after she had run a high temperature the night before of 104.3.
When I went to sign her in at the receptionist desk the receptionist replied, “oh wow.. 104.. that’s more of an ER trip than a doctor’s office trip huh?”. I laughed it off and then just replied.. “maybe for the first child but not the third.”
I’m growing a tough skin. Daily I hear comments about how my hands are so full or I must have a daycare because all those kids couldn’t possibly be mine. I have three kids not sixteen, unless I lost a few at the grocery store.
So it got me thinking about the difference in the order of kids versus parenting style.
The First Child –
Ah.. the first child. The fruit of your loins, perfection come to life… all germs must flee. This child will most likely own every single baby item known to man. Bassinet? check. Crib? check. pack in play. check times two. swing? check. bouncy seat? check for every room of the house. bottle warmer? check, even if you’re exclusively breast feeding. Any gadget ever made to disinfect items? check! You will glare lovingly into their eyes for hours just in case they possibly grow while you’re not looking. Their butt will never touch the floor, couch, or any other areas that are not human arms. Pacifiers will be disinfected hourly and if one drops on the ground it will automatically be banished to the outer realms. The camera will practically break from sheer overuse and the thought of leaving your house before the child is six months old is impossible due to contamination. In fact you probably will have the CDC, local ER, and you’re doctor’s home number all on speed dial. Obsession is the word and it’s ok because they’re your first. We’ve all been there.
The Second Child-
You want to do everything you did for the first but you’re tired. Likely you’re chasing a toddler while nursing a baby and it’s exhausting. The baby pics will be mailed to you from family that took them because the toddler buried your camera in the backyard. The toddlers blocks and toys no longer allowed for a bouncy seat in every room so now you have down graded to only one bouncy, a crib, bassinet and high chair. The swing is currently in use for your dog that whines and cries non stop since they are now the most neglected member of your family. Pacifiers are simply run under running water and popped back in the kids mouth as fast as possible. Spit up stains are all the new rage in your circle of friends but you can still occasionally make it out of the house in matching clothes. This child definitely knows where the floor since you have long admitted that you are no relation to an octopus and really only have two arms.
The Third Child –
Chances are by now that the child might possibly be sleeping in a drawer. If not at least they still have a nice cozy travel bed to sleep in since the bassinet and crib were sold to pay for bunk beds for the older two. The pacifiers are licked clean by the dogs when they drop on the floor and the only time you go to the ER is when something has been cut off. You take the bathrobe off to go to Walmart not because of fashion laws but because you don’t want to be featured on PeopleofWalmart.com. The only pictures that you can find of the baby are the stick figure ones that the oldest two children drew for you. It doesn’t really matter what size the child wears because whatever you hand-me down tub you stick your hand into wins the clothes lottery of the day. Disinfectant? only when the Lysol can explodes. The third child also answers to every one’s name, including the dog’s and occasionally the cat’s too. but you don’t have a cat.
While the birth order will effect that amount of store bought items and entries in a baby book (if at all) that the child may have, all kids are loved the same, regardless of when they were born. Every kid will adjust to a family and find their place no matter how many bouncy seats you had or how many germs you did or did not squash.
I love all my kids no matter what their birth order is but maybe when it comes to parenting we have relaxed.. big time.
I’m ok with that but will someone please inform the receptionist at my Dr.’s office? oh and tell the dog that their days of licking my kids faces clean are over? Not that we ever allowed that to happen…Parenting
Princess Newbie was sick this weekend, really sick.
Friday I took her to the doctor after she had run a high temperature the night before of 104.3.
When I went to sign her in at the receptionist desk the receptionist replied, “oh wow.. 104.. that’s more of an ER trip than a doctor’s office trip huh?”. I laughed it off and then just replied.. “maybe for the first child but not the third.”
I’m growing a tough skin. Daily I hear comments about how my hands are so full or I must have a daycare because all those kids couldn’t possibly be mine. I have three kids not sixteen, unless I lost a few at the grocery store.
So it got me thinking about the difference in the order of kids versus parenting style.
The First Child –
Ah.. the first child. The fruit of your loins, perfection come to life… all germs must flee. This child will most likely own every single baby item known to man. Bassinet? check. Crib? check. pack in play. check times two. swing? check. bouncy seat? check for every room of the house. bottle warmer? check, even if you’re exclusively breast feeding. Any gadget ever made to disinfect items? check! You will glare lovingly into their eyes for hours just in case they possibly grow while you’re not looking. Their butt will never touch the floor, couch, or any other areas that are not human arms. Pacifiers will be disinfected hourly and if one drops on the ground it will automatically be banished to the outer realms. The camera will practically break from sheer overuse and the thought of leaving your house before the child is six months old is impossible due to contamination. In fact you probably will have the CDC, local ER, and you’re doctor’s home number all on speed dial. Obsession is the word and it’s ok because they’re your first. We’ve all been there.
The Second Child-
You want to do everything you did for the first but you’re tired. Likely you’re chasing a toddler while nursing a baby and it’s exhausting. The baby pics will be mailed to you from family that took them because the toddler buried your camera in the backyard. The toddlers blocks and toys no longer allowed for a bouncy seat in every room so now you have down graded to only one bouncy, a crib, bassinet and high chair. The swing is currently in use for your dog that whines and cries non stop since they are now the most neglected member of your family. Pacifiers are simply run under running water and popped back in the kids mouth as fast as possible. Spit up stains are all the new rage in your circle of friends but you can still occasionally make it out of the house in matching clothes. This child definitely knows where the floor since you have long admitted that you are no relation to an octopus and really only have two arms.
The Third Child –
Chances are by now that the child might possibly be sleeping in a drawer. If not at least they still have a nice cozy travel bed to sleep in since the bassinet and crib were sold to pay for bunk beds for the older two. The pacifiers are licked clean by the dogs when they drop on the floor and the only time you go to the ER is when something has been cut off. You take the bathrobe off to go to Walmart not because of fashion laws but because you don’t want to be featured on PeopleofWalmart.com. The only pictures that you can find of the baby are the stick figure ones that the oldest two children drew for you. It doesn’t really matter what size the child wears because whatever you hand-me down tub you stick your hand into wins the clothes lottery of the day. Disinfectant? only when the Lysol can explodes. The third child also answers to every one’s name, including the dog’s and occasionally the cat’s too. but you don’t have a cat.
While the birth order will effect that amount of store bought items and entries in a baby book (if at all) that the child may have, all kids are loved the same, regardless of when they were born. Every kid will adjust to a family and find their place no matter how many bouncy seats you had or how many germs you did or did not squash.
I love all my kids no matter what their birth order is but maybe when it comes to parenting we have relaxed.. big time.
I’m ok with that but will someone please inform the receptionist at my Dr.’s office? oh and tell the dog that their days of licking my kids faces clean are over? Not that we ever allowed that to happen…
I love our new pediatrician! Took Emeth to him this week, and his first words were, “You have four kids? Well you probably don’t even need me!” He told me I don’t need to bring Emeth in anymore this year except for 6 mos and 12 mos unless there is a problem. This guy gets it!
That’s hilarious Bobby. As you know we have 1 dear precious baby. We have every gadget and gear but the dog still licks her face, I pop the dirty binky in my mouth before hers and I’ve already lost the camera. #momfail 🙂
So funny and so true!!
I LOVE YOU!!!!
I hope I’m not being too forward.
I think this might be my favorite thing I’ve read all day. No all year. Nay – IN ALL MY BLESSED LIFE!!!!
Oh the relief that somebody understands. A dog is licking my kids face clean as I type, and I don’t even have a dog.
One more thing ~ lets bum rush that receptionist if she even looks at you sideways. Kidding. But I seriously could give her a super mean stink eye if you need me to.
104 more like an ER trip? You should have said, “Oh, you must be new.” Because anybody with an ounce of childhood fever experience knows that unless there are other drastic bad symptoms or the fever is very persistent or is over 105, an ER doc will just tell you to give the baby tylenol and plenty of fluids. Then ask for your ridiculous copay fee, and send you bill not only for the hospital ER, but also a physicians bill. I have to go cuss now.
I love this post. It’s so great.
I know how you feel, We just had our third at the end of the year and we get comments like this all the time, “Are they all yours?”, “My you have your hands full”, “You have your boy so your done now right?” and my favorite from my father in law “When are you opening the day care?” As if three kids qualify for a day care.
Really sad that our culture has gone down to the one or two kids is enough when our parents generation were still having 5-10.
So, so true! I’m due with my 3rd in March and people keep asking, “do you have this?, do you have that?” And I keep saying, “why would I need that?” All this baby needs is somewhere to sleep, a boob, and some diapers and wipes!
Oh, honey. You nailed it. On.the.head.