Three Ankles

Friday of last week I had a third ankle appear. My foot below my ankle started swelling for an unknown reason. No really, I have no idea what I did.

If you’re wondering “how can she not know?”, please take a second to refer to the name of this blog. Clumsy.  It’s me.  I’m the one that tore the ACL in my knee doing a ballet jump in high school. I have never taken a ballet class in my life. I would say it’s just natural talent that caused me to take on an impromptu ballet performance but the evidence proves otherwise.  A few months later I tore my ACL in my other knee while climbing up some steep steps. (100% true) Since then I’ve fallen down the stairs, lived with trick knees, and slipped in the shower (a few times) all while prying my fingers apart from the glue. So today when the dr. at the urgent care center said, “what caused this?” and I replied, “I have no idea”, I think only one of us believed me. (It wasn’t him)

Really, truthfully, I do not know why I’ve grown a third ankle. There really is no profit to having a third ankle. If you have a third eye then you could prove to kids all over the world that parents really do have eyes in the back of their heads. Three hands and you would never have problems reaching that itch on your back again. Three breast and you could be on the remake of that movie, “Total Recall”. But three ankles?  What can I do with that? So this weekend I got absolutely nothing done. I layed on the couch while the princess doctor corp attended to me.  There was a lot I needed to do this weekend and none of it happened. I have watched every single second of olympic coverage, that might be worth something.

Part of me was even excited to go to the Urgent Care today because I was sure that I would get to read a lof of my book while I was waiting. It turns out that I went to the fastest Urgent Care in America. I read one paragraph, looked at the X-rays that showed nothing wrong, picked up the prescription for the drugs that make me loopy (which I’m currently on) and left.  I need to give them a good talking to about expecting time to read when I don’t have the kids with me. Also can I tell you that I hardly ever take even over the counter medicine, much less prescription drugs.  Baby tylenol pretty much wipes me out. Benedryl puts me horizontal for 18 hours. The doctor gave me Tylenol 3 for pain. I pierced the cartilage in my ear by myself in high school the last time I was on Tylenol 3.  I can’t feel my arms. So no more Tylenol 3. Damion will be working and I need to be able to take care of my children without piercing things. Yes I have creative things planned for this week. My dining room needs some decorations, upstairs needs a major paint job, and there’s a fingerprint necklace that I’m working on. But until then, I’m hiding all the needles.