40 Funny Tote Bag Sayings

Last year I wrote the post, 43 Funny Kitchen Towel Sayings, and it went viral. I never knew people needed so many ideas of funny sayings to put on tote bags or kitchen towels, but apparently they do.

I understand it though because since then I’ve made a lot of kitchen towels using my Cricut and iron-on vinyl. They’re easy to make and fun to hang in your kitchen for holidays and special events.

BUT now summer is on it’s way and for some reason, it always makes me think I need tote bags. Anyone else? I’m not sure what it is about summer but I want a tote bag to throw all my junk into and head to the pool. Or to just walk around the house and throw all the junk into before guests show up.

So here we go… 41 Funny Tote Bag Sayings so that you can make your own DIY Tote Bags. Perfect for fun in the summer or hiding random items from friends that think you keep a clean house. No judgement. Or you can use these sayings to make reusable bags for the grocery store. It’s up to you what you do with them.

41 Funny Tote Bag Sayings

1. I usually forget this bag in the car.
2. Why buy it for $8 when you can make it yourself with $92 of craft supplies?
3. Drink some coffee, put on gangsta rap, and handle it.
4. Thou shalt not try me – Mom 24:7
5. Nothing in this bag belongs to me. #MomLife
6. Save the planet, it’s the only one with chocolate.
7. Today’s good mood is sponsored by coffee.
8. Of course I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice.
9. A lady never discusses the size of her fabric stash.
10. Smugglin’ Puppies (I need someone to make me a bag with this and then add puppies to it.)
11. To knit or not to knit – now that’s just a silly question.
12. I can’t adult today and tomorrow doesn’t look so great either.
13. I’m a craftaholic on the road to recovery. Just kidding, I’m on the road to the craft store.
14. I speak fluent sarcasm.
15. I’m not messy, I’m creatively organized.
16. I’m just a girl, standing in front of a salad, asking it to be pizza.
17. I like big books and I cannot lie.
18. Not worth stealing.
19. I danced like no one was watching. My court date is a week from Thursday.
20. I like to party, and by party, I mean read books. (I need this one too)
21. National Sarcasm Society – Like we need your support.
22. In my defense, I was left unsupervised.
23. It’s not hoarding if it’s books.
24. Silently correcting your grammar.
25. Cute but crazy.
26. The human body is 60% water so really we’re just cucumbers with anxiety.
27. Crafty is the new pretty.
28. Sorry I’m late, I didn’t want to come.
29. Pilates? OH, I thought you said pie and lattes.
30. I’m going to be the life of the party (As long as it ends by 8:30 PM)
31. Everything is a good idea at 2 AM.
32. My brain has too many tabs open.
33. I am so crafty I sweat glitter.
34. My blood type is caffeine.
35. Yes, you do need more fabric.
36. I’m more confused than a chameleon in a bag of Skittles.
37. Telling a woman to calm down works about as well as baptizing a cat.
38. Yes, I sew. No, I won’t do your mending.
39. Somewhere between Proverbs 31 and Madea, there’s me.
40. If history repeats itself, I am so getting a dinosaur.
41. Alexa, Feed My Kids.

There you go – 41 funny tote bag sayings for you to make custom DIY Tote Bags either by using vinyl or using a freezer paper stencil if you don’t have a vinyl cutter.